my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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