i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize