i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
