I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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