Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize