dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Houston, we have a squirter
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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