they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
