Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
