Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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