Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
