I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
