Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My pussy is not your playground.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
