she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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