his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
