Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
then he tried to convert me to islam
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
false alarm, still single
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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