google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
