You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
When are your genitals available?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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