but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
