can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I love you.
Bad choice
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
