at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
