Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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