did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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