Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
