i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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