Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
