I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
