Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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