Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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