In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
