At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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