did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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