my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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