i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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