Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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