I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
