getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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