no. you can't hotbox the world.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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