He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
