I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
