U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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