He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
you never un-have a 4some
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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