I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
