Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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