I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
