chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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