If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize