The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
