nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
