A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
