I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize