the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
