would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
