i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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