Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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