Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
