How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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