oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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