i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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