oh god the rape fog is back!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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