oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize