Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
