There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
